think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I AM VODKA MAN
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
