I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
