Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
