If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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