ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
