Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
