I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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