tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
