The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
