Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
