yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
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When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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