Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
