Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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