Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
