Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
