I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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