He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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