I puked a lego.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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