I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Congratulations! We have a period
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