We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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