So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
