And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
