And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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