Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
