Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
