Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
