Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
