Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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