jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize