He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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