I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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