I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
FUCK WHALES
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
