Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
