She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
