everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
