the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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