Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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