I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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