I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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