she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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