We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
MIDGETS
????
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize