On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
