I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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