This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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