Apparently you make a good broom.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
