dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
