make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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