We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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