So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have aggressive nipples.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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