just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize