I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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