i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
