I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish I only lived at night.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize