so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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