try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
