it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
