TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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