I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
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