Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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