wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Vodka?
Forever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
